You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
