I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
