Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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