I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
