Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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