whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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