I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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