matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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