Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize