hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
