Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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