enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
