Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
