We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
