1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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