You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
