I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
