Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize