I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
