So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
