just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
