shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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