dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
