Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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