it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
