And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize