I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
