operation harelip BJ is a go
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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