I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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