Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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