The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
