so let's talk penis.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
