the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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