just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
4 words: hood of his car
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
