I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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