The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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