I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize