ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
