Just took my morning after pill in the library
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize