Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
