I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
