I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
A bitchslap is in order.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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