i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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