Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
