in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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