I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
