We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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