I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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