Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Enjoy the penises
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize