Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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