Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
