i permit you to call me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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