So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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