need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i love accidental penises.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
