I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize