Need sex. Gaining weight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
