peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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