So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I DEMAND FORESKIN
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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