it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize