I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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