A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
