I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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