Buhtt sex?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my liver is dry heaving
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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