it hurts more in the daytime
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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