Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
