I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
