Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
