i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
