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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
